What If?
by NinjaGirlWithDagger
Summary: It's a typical day at the Martinez home for Fang, where random stuff happens, kind of overly funny and maybe OOC. Every chapter ends in a "What If" stupid question. T for debilitating paranoia. Does anyone know where Gazzy and Total are?
1. Since when was Luigi a girl?

**What If? By NinjaGirlWithDagger**

**I only have one thing to say: Wow, am I bored.**

**Disclaimer--Really? Do I really have to put this? **

Fang POV

Whoa. Ha ha, revenge is sweet. Or is it? I've had a seriously insane week. The questions, the answers, the Girl Scout Cookies, I may never be the same. Do you wanna know more about it? Come closer to the metaphorical campfire and hear my tale. It will take more than one chapter to tell, so Story Alert or a Favorite will do you good. Listen…

_---Flashback--- Fang POV_

I had just walked into the kitchen when I heard Angel and Nudge in a heated argument over whether Jacob or Edward had hotter abs. Why a six year old would be debating this, I will never know. Iggy was running in at the same time. Probably trying to get away from Max, I suppose. I was mad at her, so I planned to have Nudge sew lace onto all of her clothes. I was making myself a sandwich when Angel suddenly lost her cool and screamed, "EDWARD WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, YOU--YOU WEREWOLF!"

At that, Nudge burst into tears and ran to burn Angel's copy of _New Moon_. While those two were fighting over the box of matches, I turned to Iggy and said, "What did you blow up this time my man?"

"I didn't blow up anything, I swear! Well, except for that slinky cocktail dress that Max bought to go on a dinner date with that one guy…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What dinner date? Why didn't you blow up the guy and not the dress? I could've given her an excuse to wear that!" That was when Iggy started laughing so hard, I was all but sure that Ashton Kutcher would pop out and say, "Dude, you just got Punk'd!!!!"

"Oh, my God. Fang, man, you should have seen your face!"

I gave him my evil vampire/stalker/Justin-Beiber-With-An-Axe look. "For that, good sir, we will have to battle it out, Super Mario Bros Wii style." Iggy's look of laughter turned to one of horror, then defiance. "Oh, my friend, you are on!

_---Five Minutes Later…---_

"Ugh, are you kidding me Mario? Stop getting freaking killed by the freaking little brown lumpy midget things!" I yelled. I was starting to get really mad. Iggy was kicking my skinny bird kid butt in Coin Battle, when he suddenly piped up, saying, "What if Luigi was a girl?"

**So, whad'ya think? Is it stupid, hilarious, or an idea of a bored person? You tell me. Next chapter up soon! (or not, it depends.) See ya'll later, suckahs!!**

**NinjaGirlWithDagger ;)**


	2. I like Britsh Ferraris!

****

!

Hi, I'm back. I kidnapped Fang to punish him for his deeds at the end of FANG, so he's my new butler!

Fang: Someone rescue me, please!

Me: Nuh uh! Not until you apologize to Max for what you did to her!! Now, go fetch me some of Dr. M's chocolate chip cookies!

Fang: Bite me.

Me: Whatever, Fabio. That's your butler name. Hurry up with those cookies, Fabio. And say the disclaimer.

Fang/Fabio: The beautiful goddess of Ninjas and Daggers owns nothing except for the plot. Steal it and die!!!!!!!!!! (she has no plot, really) Save me.

Previous Question: What if Luigi was a girl? Spoken By: Iggy

Fang POV

Hello, faithful readers. Have you seen the insanity of the first part of the first day of my week? If you haven't, you might need to be in a padded cell. Let's review: I have revenge for Max, and Angel and Nudge are fighting over a box of matches. And Gazzy? Well, no one knew where he was at that time. We found him the next day, though. Total still is somewhere. I had nothing to do with it!! Hide and go seek gone wrong. Oooo, shudder…

_---Flashback---Fang POV_

Thinking quickly, I said, "His name would be Luna, he would have an insane crush on Mario, and he would be slap fighting Princess Peach for the rights to stroke Mario's moosestach."

"Okay, then. That was a rhetorical question," Iggy replied. "Oh, ho! New record, baby! Suck on that, Fang"

"Suck on what?" I replied, "Your non-existent moosestach?"

"I can feel it! It's there, I tell you! IT'S THERE!!!!!!!!" He ran away screaming. Well, I guess I win.

I walked upstairs to the kitchen. Nudge's hair was on fire, while Angel's eyebrows had been completely singed off. I quickly turned and walked the other way, but guess who was there? Max. Of course it was Max! I just had to bump into Max, didn't I? Thank you karma! Who did you think it was? Megan Fox? Iggy would, but that's besides the point.

"Watch where you're going, nimrod!" I did that one cough thing. You know when people cough, and say loser. I coughed and said, "PMS!" Suddenly, Iggy walked back in, all signs of mooosestach breakdown gone, and said, "Max has Peeved at Men Syndrome?"

Well, that, apparently, was the wrong thing to say, because Max lost what miniscule grip on sanity she had, (The Voice and I take full responsibility, well, maybe not the Voice) and kneed Iggy in his, well, let's call them his "Juicy Fruits". Five seconds later, he was on the ground, gasping for air.

"Well," he said in a voice to octaves higher than his own, "there goes my Megan Fox winged children!" I knew I was right all along! Max stalked away, when Nudge said, "Where's Gazzy?" Whoa, I'd been so caught up in today's "dramatic" events, that I'd completely forgotten about him! "We need to find him fast!" I said.

Iggy, saddened by the hopefully momentary loss of his bro said, "We need a car! What if we all had personal Ferraris, with like, British butlers?"

****

Finally, an update!!!!! I have made a personal goal to myself that, since I'm on spring break, I will update my two ongoing stories everyday! Lord, help me.

Fang/Fabio: -mutters- More like mental help.

Me: Ex-squeeeeese me? INTO MY CLOSET NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fang/Fabio: But your monkey Webkinz scares me! -whimper-

Me: I don't even play Webkinz! They've been in there for a year now. Bird up, Fabio!

Fang/Fabio: Whaaaa?

Me: Man up, Fabio! This is getting out of hand. Off to basketball!

Fang/Fabio: I hope you break a finger or an ankle or a leg or all of the above

Me: GET INTO THE (Insert swear word here) CLOSET RIGHT NOW, MR. (Insert swear word here) TALKY-EMO-PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peashe--

NinjaGirlWithDagger


	3. Dr M is evil?

********

Me: Yay, second update!

Fang/Fabio: Can I come out now?

Me: NO SHUT THE (Insert swear word here) UP, FABIO!!!!!!!

Fang/Fabio: Geez, someone's tired. I wonder why? Oh, maybe it's because she's worked her butt off writing her Percy Jackson FanFiction.

Me: GET BACK IN THE (Insert swear word here) CLOSET, OR I WILL TAPE THE (Insert swear word here)MONKEY WEBKINZ TO YOUR (Insert swear word here)FACE! DO THE DISCLAIMER FABIO!

Fang/Fabio: The exhausted lady owns nothing. -dodges pillow-

Me: INTO THE( Insert swear word here) CLOSET NOW!!!!!!!!!

Previous Question: What if we all had Ferraris, with, like, British butlers? Spoken By: Iggy

Welcome back. I'm sure that you're all very, very worried about Gazzy at the moment. I wasn't. Now don't you start "Nice parenting, Fang" or "Like, OMG, Fang! LOL"

None of heard the door open or close, so we knew he was still in the house, to some extent. Time for part two of day one! Wait, did I just use an exclamation point? Nudge must be wearing off on me. Has anyone found Total yet??????? Oi, Ange will kill me.

---_Flashback _--- Fang POV

Gazzy popped out from inside the fridge and said, "Holy crap, Iggy! That would be freaking sweet!!" Max hadn't came back from wherever she'd stormed off to, so I was going to ask Angel to see if she was in her room, when she said,

"No, she's not, Fang" Creepy little mind-reader!

"Fang! You-you hurt my f-f-feelings! Come on Nudge, I'll help you put out your hair!"

Girls! Even Angel was as unpredictable as Max. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. "Hey, Nudge! Wait!" I called. She stopped and came back down the stairs.

"What?" she asked. "Well, I need you to sew lace, remember?" Her face brightened.

"Totally!"

"Nudge, your hair is still on fire."

"Crap!"

!#$%^&*( ) Later, at 2:00 am. !#$%^&*( )

We were silently creeping upstairs to Max's room. We had convinced her that we thought that someone was watching the house, so she fell asleep on the couch.

"Is the sewing machine set up?" I whispered to Nudge.

"Yeah, it's your room." Huh?

"Wait, my room?"

"Hey, your idea, your evidence, Kemosabe."

How can a twelve year old beat me in logic? Beats me! We slowly opened the door to her room. Once we were sure that no alarms had been tripped, or buzzers buzzing. Bad move, Fang. Bad move. As soon as we slipped by here bed frame, Nudge tripped over something. A wire! Max was up there in a flash.

"What the (swear word) is going on up here?!" Max said. "Go to bed, Nudge, sweetie. As for you, you (swear word), you can stay right here while I call your mother!"

Okay, last time I checked, I didn't have a mom, much less parents! Wait, it wasn't Max, it was Dr. M! Well, this is creepy. Soon the whole flock was up there watching Dr. Martinez call my "mother". Who she really called was Max on her cell phone. A very PMS-ing, sleep deprived Max. A Max that rabid tigers don't even want to mess with.(AN: WTF, Inner Self?) In short, what we really did was watch Max and Dr. M have a very angry cell phone call in the same room. It was kinda funny, and it went on for so long, that Iggy got to order pizza. While we were stuffing our faces with Dominos finest, Gazzy let one rip. In no way, shape, or form did it stop the argument at hand. When Max and Dr. M finally chilled out,(turns out she's a _little_ exhausted) we all were about to go to bed, until Gazzy said, "What if Dr. M was evil?"

**Me: FABIO GO FLUFF MY PILLOWS AND TURN DOWN MY COVERS!**

**Fang/Fabio: -sings- We're all in this together!!!**

**Me: Ooookaaaay then. I'm just gonna end this now.**

**Fang/Fabio: No, Gabriella, you can't go to Stanford! I LOOOOVE YOU AND THE CRAZY OLD DRAMA TEACHER!"**

**Me: Well, I'm gonna go book some therapy sessions. Bye!**

**NinjaGirlWithDagger**


	4. Gangstah Girl!

****

Me: Hi! I'm sorry that this is coming so late, but I was at a friend's house all day.

Fang/Fabio: -sings-16, 16, 16 minutes left, better get it done. 16, 16, 16 minutes left till we're number one.

Me: Where the (Insert swear word here) is Dr. Phyllis?!

Fang/Fabio: -sings-Gotta getcha, getcha head in the game!

Me: You better "getcha, getcha head BACK IN THE (Insert swear word here) CLOSET!

Fang/Fabio: -sings-What time is it? Sum-

Me: IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DO THE (Insert swear word here) DISCLAIMER, AND FOR DR. (Insert swear word here) PHYLLIS TO GET HERE!

Me: Since Fabio's not sane at the moment, I own nothing. Get it, got it? Good.

Previous question: What if Dr. M was evil? Spoken By: Gazzy.

Chapter 4

Time for day two, faithful readers. I'm sure that you've all heard of Yo Momma jokes, right? Good. I don't understand things at all!

---_Flashback_--- Fang POV

After Gazzy let loose that little elephant in the room, Max threw an antique Chinese vase across the hall, as we were walking out.

"Well, my young, tactless friend," Iggy said. "Why don't we consult the FanFiction legend Diary of a Lovesick Mutant, starring Fang, written by Phoenix Fanatic."

"Umm, what?" I asked. "What the heck is FanFiction? How does this person know who I am? Why are they writing stories about me?" I was starting to get really freaked.

"Chill out, Fangalicious," Iggy laughed. "Just messing with your emo hair covered head." He then proceeded to ruffle my hair, like some kind of violating, eccentric uncle. He's blind for crying out loud! How the heck can he do that? We all then went to sleep.

The next morning, Gazzy jumped onto my bed, then started jumping on me. Oh, joy. Sweet, bean farting joy.

"Fang! Hey, Fang! Get up, sleepy emo head!" Why does everyone keep calling me emo?

"Can we go to McDonalds for breakfast? Cause, like, they have a new Dollar Menu, and I saw this cool guy rapping in a van, and he was rapping about the new yummy brekfast Dollar Menu, and-"

"Gasser, I get it," I said. Geez, will the kid ever shut up about food? What was he doing in the fridge yesterday? Now that I think about it, I probably don't want to know.

The whole flock had woken up because of Gazzy's proclamation. Max stumbled in and said something that sounded like, "Bring me a Blegg McMuffin, and a flarge Crash Drown," which I took to mean as, "Bring me an Egg McMuffin, and a large Hash Brown." As we were all flying over to McDonalds, Angel said,

"I have a ominous feeling that we should be practicing our Yo Momma skillz." Yes, she said skills like that. I shrugged it off, and as we landed and walked into McHeaven on earth, Mr. Chu's robocreeps came in and said,

"Yo, fellas, and chicks! We challenge ya'll to a Yo Momma smack down." The all said that at the exact same time. Creepy, no? They continued, saying, "Loser gets killed, winner lives." Well, no dip, corn chips! That was when Nudge, always fashion conscious, said, "What if we were all gangstah right now?"

****

Me: Well, there's your update. Sorry it's so late at night, but this was posted on the seventh!!! Maybe if I turn off the T.V., Fabio will SHUT THE (Insert swear word here) UP! -unplugs T.V.-

Fang/Fabio: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: YOU ARE NOT ZAC EFRON!!!!!

I'd like to thank my friend Katie, for giving me the idea while I was at her house. I had to cut her out of the author's note, becuase I finished it at my house. Katie is now really p.o.'ed at me.

FORGIVE ME KATIEEEEEEEEEE!!

Bye,

NinjaGirlWithDagger


	5. Yo Momma so random

****

Hi! We seemed to have fixed Fabio's HSM problemo.

Fang/Fabio: How could you do this to me?

Me: Well, you were doing pretty darn well on your own.

Fang/Fabio: I WILL (Insert swear word here) TAPE THE (Insert swear word here) WEBKINZ MONKEY TO YOUR (Insert swear word here) FACE!

Me: Now, he starts talking!! Where's your military issue machine gun and taser when you need it? -starts running- CALL THE (Insert swear word here) FLOCK!

Previous Question: What if we were all gangstah right now? Spoken By: Nudge

Well, I'm pretty sure that you all want to know if we got our McDonalds. I can't tell you, because that would pretty much ruin the story, and how I'm talking to you at this very moment. We thought that the robots probably went all haywire. Stupid bad guys, always messing everything up. This Yo Momma contest has been brought to you by Bombs, courtesy of Iggy and Gazzy.

---_Flashback_---Fang POV

Magically, gangstah clothes appeared on us. I looked totally pimp. Before we could even discuss things, Iggy and Gazzy said, "You're on!" and cackled maniacally.

Gazzy went first. "Yo Momma's so fat, she deep fries her toothpaste!" there were collective "oooo's" and "aaaaah's" all around. Even the drive thru lady with a gallon of Botox looked shocked. Then the robot said, "Yo Momma so fat, she's got her own zip code!" Gazzy shook his head, knowing he had lost that round.

Then Nudge stepped up, and the robot went first saying, "Yo Momma so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store, and starved!" Well, Nudge shot back, saying,

"Yeah? Well, Yo Momma so stupid, she sat on the T.V. and watched the couch!" Everyone cheered, and Nudge won. Iggy won, then it was my turn. I stepped up, tried to look gangster (Nudge said that I looked totally gangstah) and said, "Yo Momma so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!" The robot looked totally phased, and backed out. There were boos from all around. The next robot came up looking scared. Angel was up, too, and she skipped right on up.

She let the robot so first, and he said, "Yo Momma so ugly, that when she looks out the window, she gets arrested for mooning!" Everyone knew that that was a good one.

Angel stayed calm, and said, "Hmmm, well, Yo Momma so hairy that the only language she speaks is Wookie!" Then she started to make Wookie noises. Every time the robot started to speak, she would cut him of with that. We totally won, and we got our McDonalds! Oh, and we also killed the robots. It was so much fun!

When we got back home, I put the bag by Max's door, because she was sleeping. She would wake up soon. Then we decided to play hide and seek. Well, Nudge and Angel made me and Total play. I was it, so I counted to twenty, and easily found Angel under her bed. Then I found Nudge hiding behind the drapes. I searched everywhere for Total, but I couldn't find him. It was time for dinner by the time I gave up. I decided not to tell Angel, which turned out to be my worst mistake ever.

What if Total was dognapped?

****

Sorry about not updating! If someone tries to claim that I stole this idea from them, please don't believe it. My friend helped my with this, and she said she would tell you guys that I stole the Yo Momma idea from her, because I forgot to give her credit. Don't think bad of her, she's just too mad to be rational right now.

Fang/Fabio: YOU BETTER KEEP RUNNING, YOU (Insert swear word here)!

Me: Gotta run! Bye!

NinjaGirlWithDagger


	6. Cherubs, or Winged Mutant Babies?

****

Hola, mis amigos! How are you? Yeah! Update time!!

Shhhhh, I'm hiding in my parent's walk in closet.

Fang/Fabio: HERE I COME YOU (Insert swear word here) LITTLE ONE

Me: AIEEEEEEEEE -Runs for decent cover-

Me: I OWN NOTHIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Previous Question: What if Total was dognapped? Spoken By: Fang

Well, welcome back to the soap opera that I call my life…

---_Flashback_--- Fang POV

I woke up just then. See, it turns out that by the time we finished off the robots, it was three o'clock in the afternoon, and I was so tired that I dropped dead on the couch. So, basically, I dreamed the whole hide and seek thing, and woke up to some bird tapping on the window at five in the morning. What is that, like, fourteen hours of sleep? My sleep pattern is officially screwed! As is my life. So, really, the bird the broke through the living room window, and pooped on my head. Yeah, ha ha ha real funny. I see you , guy in the back, laughing your head off. Then, someone shoved some delicious peanut butter and chocolate Girl Scout cookies into my mouth, and I feel asleep until noon.

When I woke up, Max was standing over me, looking guilty. "Fang," she said, "I'm really sorry about the way I acted." Whoa, the great Maximum Ride actually said sorry? What is wrong with this world? She said something else about hormones, and puberty (shudder) and I kind of tuned her out. After she left, I went back to sleep for the rest of the day. Fun and exciting, right? Then, Angel popped in saying, "What if you and Max had kids?"

****

Sorry about the shortness, guys, but I'm too busy trying to hide from Fang. He thinks I'm in the backyard, whilst I'm really updating. Wish me luck on hiding.

Fang/Fabio: WHERE ARE YOU, YOU MOTHER (Insert swear word here)

Me: GEEZ, FANG! WATCH YOUR (Insert swear word here) LANGUAGE! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THOSE WORDS, YOU (Insert swear word here)?!

NinjaGirlWithDagger


	7. Hmmm, Dylan Burritos? Yummy!

****

Today I stuck I dime to my forehead. With my spit.

F/F (Fang/Fabio): -invisible- I FOUND YOU (Insert swear word here)!

Me: -screams like 2 year old- CRAP! Fabio, just kill me now, get it over with. I've lived a good life. And, tell Dylan to -whispers something in Fabio's ear-

F/F: Dear God, what a genius you are! All is forgiven.

Disclaimer: If I owned MR, Dylan would not exist. Try to wrap your minds around that.

Well, that was an interesting question, wasn't it? On with day three. Crap, I burned myself on the metaphorical campfire. Or did I… Sweet Baby Jesus Corn! Who is--

Hello, readers of FanFiction. It is I, Dylan! And I have kidnapped your precious Fang to make him my butler named Fabio. Mwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!! Ooo, Project Runway's on!! Mwah! Tootles!

__

---Flashback--- Fang POV

Max then appeared out of nowhere, saying, "Ewww, motherhood!" and popped back to wherever the heck she was. I looked at Angel and said,

"Ange, sweetie, do you watch Glee?" She nodded her head yes.

"If Max gets pregnant, she'll make a list of all the people in the flock, rating them on prettiness. And she would put you at dead last. Is that what you want?" She burst into tears. Hey, I thought Glee was supposed to be a model for a young girl's life. I guess I thought wrong. Then Max popped back into the room and sat on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, letting her feel my biceps. ManWhore. Guilty as charged.

"Fang, have you been working out?" she asked. Score one for the ManWhore.

"No," I replied. "It's just that I feel the need to have a bulked up body to be a second vanity point for myself. Besides me hair." But of course, Iggy had to come in and ruin the moment by saying, "Yo, word to your mother, but Taylor Lautner is here." Then Gazzy came up behind him and said,

"Vanilla Ice, Ice baby! Can't touch this!" So Max and I got up to see this "hot" guy named Taylor. I mean, come on! Isn't Taylor a girls name? Exactly. But when we got to the door, we saw some stalker looking guy named Dylan with Justin Beiber. Horror! Oh the sweet-Edward-Cullen-Mania-horror!! Then Justin Beiber said,

"Um, so I heard that a young lady named," he looked down at his hand, "Nudge?-Is here."

"OhMyGodThisIsTheBestDayICouldEverImagineHolyFreakingCrap!!!!!!! My hair!!! Angel, get your butt over here!" Those two ran upstairs. I turned my head to look at those two weirdos again, and got Dylan giving Max the "elevator eyes".

"Hey," Max snapped. "Eyes up here, Buddy!" His head snapped up freakishly.

"Hi Max!!" Dylan said. "You know what? Itex created me to be your perfect half, instead of that hunk of smokin' hot meat over there." He was looking at me. Cue internal creeper shudder. Shudder has been cued. Dylan continued by saying,

"But then I realized that this underdeveloped twelve year old boy was better for me," he said while pointing to Justin Beiber. Oh, dear God. Then Iggy popped up and said,

"Oh joyous happiness of contentment, will you two just go to Vegas and get it over with?!" Then he slapped Justin Beiber and Stalker Man named Dylan and slammed the door in their faces.

"That was totally beast, man," I said and we fist bumped. I know, we're manly.

"So," Gazzy said. "Who wants to have a three way Super Smash Bros Brawl ultimate smack down?" Then we all rushed downstairs.

__

---Twenty Minutes Later---

"Gaaaah!" I yelled. "My angry Nintendo lady character named Zelda and/or Sheik will kill you!" But then, Iggy threw a smart bomb at me, and then I went flying into the air, and disappeared with a _bing!_ Then the disembodied announcer voice started counting down from five, and the game ended. Somehow the winner was Dylan. Wait, Dylan?

Apparently I was so into the game that I hadn't noticed all the flock tied up in a corner right next to me.

"I'm here to kill you, Fang." I had kind of zoned out at that point, and I was starving, so I said,

"What if you were a burrito right now?"

****

So, I'm sorry for the long waiting period. This is like trying to buy an iPad, isn't it?

My little brother is threatening me to get off right now. Ooooo, I'm sooo scared, Benny!!!!! Crap He's holding on to me! Woah, going to low, there, buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!

FABIO, HELP!!!!!

F/F: I'm on break! Try again later!


	8. Justin the Non Belieber

**I ****really need something constructive to do, other than this. I must have no life at all.**

**But don't get me wrong, I love FanFiction! Dooby boop dee doop, Paramore.**

**Me: -sings- I'm sitting in a room, made up of only big white wa-**

**F/F: Sam?**

**Me: Yeah?**

**F/F: I'm going back to the flock.**

**Me: Aww, Fang, I'm so happy for you!-sobs-**

**-Fang and Sam hug-**

**F/F: Wait, you actually called me Fang!**

**Me: My therapist says that it's a sign of maturity, and acceptance. She also tried to medicate me**

**F/F: Who's your therapist?**

**Me: That psycho, Dr. Phyllis.**

**F/F: Ahhhhh. I'll miss you, Sam. You always were my favorite kidnapper. Sorry, Saint!**

**Fang: -flies off-**

**Sam: -dies a little inside-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fang anymore…**

**Previous Question: What if you were a burrito? Spoken By: Fang**

"So, it's still me, Dylan! Yay, for glitter! Okay, so who saw-Oh, crap! Fang!" Luckily for you guys, I-Fang-have untied myself. Excuse me for a moment.

-Flashback-Fang POV

"Well," Dylan said. "I would be made up of sparkles, kisses, lipgloss, rainbows, and My Little Ponies!" Oh, dear Twisted Cheetos. Kind of going off topic here, but because of Gazzy, we now have a fire extinguisher in each and every room in the house. So, being the awesomely hot and smart mutant that I am, I grabbed the one down here and yelled, "EAT FOAM, STALKER!" Suddenly, everything went in slow motion and when I jumped, I was kind of hanging in the air, with the foam hitting Dylan, and his face turned sideways. I know, I'm hot. The pose really showed off my shmokin hot biceps. They glistened. It was extremely magical. Then, it went back to normal, and he hit the wall hard and fast. (Get your minds out of the gutter!)

"Fang," he sputtered. "How could you do this to me? I LOVED YOU!"WHAT? So, of course, Iggy had to go and say something perverted, like this,

"So that means that either Max is a guy, and Fang is a girl, or…Fang is g-"

"Going to kill Iggy and Dylan," I finished for him." Dear God, what is it with these people? Then Justin -Non Believer- Beiber smashed through the window with an Ak-47 in his hands screaming bloody murder. I just love that phrase, bloody murder. It sounds so, oh, I don't know, bloody? And yet, somewhat non violent. I wonder what Gandhi would have to say about that? And while we're on the topic-Whoa, donuts! Sorry, I get distracted easily. Dang penguins! So anyway, Justin Beiber.

"I WILL PWN YOU ALL WITH THE HELP OF ZAC EFRON AND ACHMED THE DEAD TERRORIST! And by the way, Nudge? I WILL MAKE YOU ONE MORE LONELY GIRL, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE MY BABY, FEATURING LUDACRIS!"

Wow, that was extremely awkward. Say it with me now, aaaaaawkwuuuurd.

Angel was carrying a knife, intent on experimenting on pregnant bunnies, and Stalker and Non Belieber had forgotten to take it away before they tied them up, so they were all free.

We all threw Subway sandwiches at them. It was lovely. Ahhh, the best week of my life.

THE END

****

So, how'd ya'll like it? There might be a sequel.

I hope Fang come back…

NinjaGirlWithDagger


End file.
